“Mistakes” are part of the process, not something that should chip away at your confidence. ~
I lose my confidence like other people lose their car keys. Usually its unexpected, hits me like a foul ball out of left field, and at a time when I need it the most it is nowhere to be found. Is it visible to people around me? People who know me well? I’m not sure. Maybe I should take a poll? But I can certainly feel it when I’m feeling less than the task at hand.
Anytime I get hold of an idea, plan, project, objective, goal, I move full steam ahead (though sometimes like the proverbial bull in the china shop). Then I deal with the push back. Sometimes during this push back phase of work or whatever the task at hand may be, I lose steam, lose confidence. I begin to listen to the inner dialogue that tells me I will fail and it is all for nothing, etc. Usually I reflect on why I feel the loss of confidence. Is it because of my inner dialogue only? Did something occur that reminded me of a past failure? Did someone say something that took the wind out of my sails? Any of these or none of these could occur. Then it is my job to find my confidence. Where did it go? Have you ever experienced this?
There is a fine line between confidence and arrogance. Confidence is tempered by humility and self-awareness, arrogance is not. So was I being arrogant living from my ego? or truly confident? The ego is a flaky thing so if I was just being arrogant then I must let that go. Confidence means knowing that you are up for the task at hand because experience has taught you that your ability can conquer your fears. It doesn’t mean you have no faults or make no mistakes.
How can we get our groove back? How do you find your confidence? Number one – Stop reinforcing the negativity. Reinforce the positive strengths, the past triumphs. Two – take note of your posture. Are you slump shouldered, head down, dejected? It has been proven that our body language can affect our mood. Stand tall, shoulders back, head up, and face the challenge. This is the good ‘ol fake it till you make it syndrome.
Notice when and where you lose your confidence, be the observer for a moment. Was it something that was said, or done, or a thought? What was the trigger or memory that exposed your fleshy vulnerable underbelly to the world? When you retrace your steps, just like with losing the keys, they turn up in the place you left them. Your confidence is there also – oddly enough right where you left it!